


We Had Fun, Didn't We?

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 08:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15481614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Tumblr prompt; 'Dina getting bitten and Joel trying to comfort a grieving Ellie'





	We Had Fun, Didn't We?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! if you have any prompts send them to me at thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com : )

Ellie told herself that, after Riley, she wouldn’t let herself fall in love again, she couldn’t put herself through that pain and loss all over again.

The only person she needed was Joel, she had no intentions of letting anyone else in.

Then Dina happened.

With her effortless swagger and coy smile, it was like shooting a sitting duck.

Ellie was screwed from the moment she tripped at the sight of Dina, looking up at the woman in awe from her hands and knees.

Ellie fell in love so quickly it was actually kind of embarrassing.

Joel noticed, Tommy noticed, hell, even Marie noticed.

It seemed the only person who didn’t notice was Dina, which Ellie was thankful for, because Dina was currently had an on-again-off-again with Jesse, and Ellie liked Jesse, so she didn’t want to complicate things.

But there was as a few times that Ellie thought that maybe Dina felt the same way, both while she was on and off with Jesse, Ellie thought there was a few times that Dina almost kissed her and talked herself out of it.

But she put that down to ‘gay-goggles’, wishful thinking.

Even during the dance, the slow dancing, the blatant flirting, Ellie didn’t piece everything together until not the first kiss but the second.

Jesse was mad, Joel was happy, and no one else gave a shit.

Over the years they went on plenty of patrols together, most of which went smoothly, but a few did go awry, some of which Ellie was sure they should have died, but like Dina said, Ellie is like a roach, she just kept surviving.

On all the patrols that they should have died, this shouldn’t have been one of them.

They were at a small hospital just outside of town, with Joel, one they had been to plenty of times, when they were ambushed by a pack of walkers that she knew weren’t there a month or so ago.

But they fought them off, both with blood splattered on their face.

Ellie laughed, more out of relief than anything, turning to Dina and pulling her in.

Dina was staring up at her with an odd look, making Ellie smile down at her. “You okay?”

“Yes, yeah.” Dina nodded, her fingertips trailing down Ellie’s cheek. “I love you.”

“I know,” Ellie grinned. “And I love you.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it.”

Ellie frowned at that. “It’s fine, Dina, we have forever to make up for us being total losers.”

Dina’s eyes flooded with tears then, her head shaking slightly, and Ellie felt panic rise in her chest.

“What do you mean no?” Of all the things running through Ellie’s mind (Dina was gearing up to break up with her) Dina being bitten wasn’t one of them. “Come on, lets got home and talk.”

“I’m not coming back with you,”

Ellie felt like something clenched around her heart at those words. “Whatever I did, I-“

“It isn’t you, Ellie.” Dina rushed, her hands cupping Ellie’s cheeks. “It’s never you, you’re perfect, Ellie Williams.”

“So what’s going on?” Ellie asked, her own eyes welling up.

Dina swallowed, her forehead resting against Ellie’s chin. “It got lucky,”

It took a few seconds for those words to sink in, when they did, Ellie’s blood ran cold. “Dina,”

“I need you to do something for me, Ellie.” Dina said, taking the gun from her belt and placing it in Ellie’s hand.

Ellie’s hand shook as Dina raised the gun to her own forehead.

“What? No way!” Ellie quickly pulled away. “No! This isn’t it, you might not turn.”

“Come on, El, no one is as special as you, you know this.” Dina said in a soft, almost flippant voice.

“We- we can fix this, Dina. We-“

“There is no fixing this,” Dina cut Ellie off. “I’m sorry I’m asking this of you but don’t let me turn into one of those things, Ellie.”

“Dina,” Ellie’s voice broke as she spoke the girls name, her hand shaking and a few tears escaping her eyes.

“We had fun, didn’t we?” Dina commented with that little crooked grin, a grin that was a total contrast to the tears rolling down her cheeks. “And you’re going to be the most eligible bachelorette at that place, I know Zoe has had a crush on you forever.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” Ellie snapped, “It’s like you’re just giving up!”

“There’s a difference between giving up and accepting that there’s nothing we can do.” Dina sighed. “Thank you, for giving me the best three years of my life, Freckles.”

Ellie broke down then, holding Dina tight against her.

“We’re waiting this out,” Ellie whispered in between sobs. “And if you do turn-“

Dina nodded against Ellie’s shoulder.

Joel came back then, his own face dropping at the sight in front of him.

He didn’t need to ask, he knew the pain on Ellie’s face meant it wasn’t good, so he just left again, telling them to come find him when they were ready to go.

“Promise me you’ll move on from this,” Dina said, pulling back to look at Ellie. “Promise me this won’t shut you off like Riley did.”

“I don’t-“

“Promise me,” Dina stressed.

Ellie swallowed and nodded. “Promise.”

“Promise me you will sleep with Zoe,” Dina teased, and Ellie actually found herself laughing.

“Fuck off.”

Dina did change, of course she did.

After three hours the fever started, and Dina told Ellie that if she was going to stay she had to tie her to a nearby radiator.

Ellie knew it was coming soon, so, after five hours, she kissed a shivering and sweaty Dina on the lips, just barely getting a response. “I love you, Dina.”

Dina nodded, her eyes dropping. “I love you, Freckles.”

Dina changed completely on the seventh hour, snarling and snapping at Ellie, who just barely managed to jump away.

Ellie was surprised by the hatred that coursed through her at the sight, she hadn’t expected it, this was still the woman she loved.

Except it wasn’t, that woman had died and been inhabited by those things.

Suddenly, the gun tucked into her belt felt heavier, and her chest tighter, and she had to get out of there.

Joel was outside the room, startling to attention when she burst out of the door, before laying into the wood with her hands, bloodying them in two blows.

“Ellie,” Joel tried to stop her but she just kept punching. “Ellie!” Joel grabbed her shoulder and Ellie turned to him, hitting at his chest.

“It’s not fair, Joel! It’s not fair, she didn’t deserve this.” Ellie fought for a few more seconds before allowing Joel to pull her in, sobbing against the man’s chest. “It’s not fair.”

“I know, kiddo.” He whispered against her head. “I’m so sorry.”

Ellie shook her head, straightening and wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater- Dina’s sweater-. “I have to go and-“ she didn’t know how to finish that, so she just held up her gun.

“I can do it,”

“ _No_ , she asked me.”

So Ellie did, placing the gun to the forehead of her feral girlfriend and pulled the trigger, bile rising in her throat when Dina went limp, brain matter scattering against the wall behind her.

That was the first time Ellie threw up after killing someone.

Ellie was in a daze the journey back to the compound, unsure of how to really process what had just happened.

People mourned Dina, there was a lot of ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘do you need anything’s’, and Ellie just didn’t want to leave the house at all.

Jesse found her a few days after she got home, fire in his eyes, and something raised in Ellie at the thought of anything other than pity.

“Death just follows you everywhere doesn’t, Ellie.” Jesse snarled, and Ellie’s fingers itched for the switchblade in her pocket. “She was fine before you got here, she would still be alive if not for you.”

Jesse had barely finished his sentence before Ellie had him against the wall, blade against her throat hard enough to draw blood.

Jesse clammed up then, and Ellie was a little disappointed. “No, keep talkin’, Jesse. Give me an excuse.”

“She was better off without you,” Jesse growled and Ellie pushed a little harder.

She would have kept going, probably killed the man, had Joel not found them and yanked her off.

“What the hell, Ellie?” He snapped, but Ellie was laser focused on Jesse. “Get outta here, boy.”

“I will fuckin’ get you, Jesse.” Ellie called after him, and Joel pushed at her shoulders.

“Calm down,”

“He said it was my fault,” Ellie snapped, her voice cracking. “It’s wasn’t, Joel, I done everything I could to keep her safe.”

“I know, I know.” Joel grabbed onto the side of Ellie’s face, forcing her to look at him. “And she knows that, she wouldn’t want you acting like this, Ellie.”

“It’s doesn’t matter what she wants anymore, Joel, because she is rotting away in that house, having spent her last few moments not even herself!”

Joel didn’t really know what to say to that, so he just pulled Ellie in for a cuddle, and for the first time since it all happened Ellie let herself cry.

“I love her, Joel.” She sobbed against the man’s chest. “I can’t just get over her, I can’t.”

“I know, kiddo. There is no getting over something like this, but you have to cool off a little.”

“I’m trying but I’m so angry,” Ellie huffed. “Why her? She was good, kind, I should’ve been me. I would take her place in a heartbeat.”

“I know that feelin’.” Joel said sympathetically. “But it’s not feasible so you have to live life the way she would have wanted you to.”

“Is that possible?”

“Eventually,” Joel nodded. “But not right now, you’re still grieving.”

Ellie nodded, pulling back and wiping at her face. “Gross.”

Joel rolled his eyes at Ellie. “She loves you, you know? You could see it in everything she done.”

“Why is it me who gets to immune, Joel? Why not Riley, or Dina, or Tess? I don’t deserve this, I’ve done nothing to deserve this.”

“You’ve done plenty of good, Ellie. You must be good because you had two girls who loved you, you don’t get one chance at love never mind two if you aren’t a good person.” Joel had a commanding tone to his voice, forcing Ellie to listen. “You have a good heart, babygirl, and you’re strong, this is something you can pull yourself through.”

“That’s two of them, Joel, two girls I loved gone, the exact same way.” Ellie took in a shaky breath, looking up at Joel through tearful eyes. “What if it was my fault?”

“No, Riley didn’t have to come back for you, she made that choice. And Dina said it herself, the fucker got lucky.” Joel stressed. “Do not blame yourself for any of this.”

Ellie let herself fall back against the wall, resting her head back against the surface. “Her things are still all over the house, I can’t get rid of them.”

“So don’t, keep them, look at them as a reminded that you had love and you will find it again.”

“Zoe,” Ellie snorted, and Joel looked at her funny. “Dina, before she- she tried to set me up with Zoe.”

Joel laughed at that. “She isn’t a bad lookin’ woman.”

“I haven’t noticed.” Ellie said and Joel looked her skeptically. “Seriously, since I got here the only girl I’ve noticed was Dina.”

“Remember when you first met her,” Joel laughed and Ellie rolled her eyes. “You seen her and tripped on the last step, falling onto your hands and knees right at her feet.”

Ellie nodded, smiling wistfully. “She offered me her hand and said ‘bit early to be falling for me, don’t’cha think?’. She was always so smug about that.”

“She gave you a run for your money, kiddo. You needed brought down a few pegs, she was the one to do that.”

“I’m never gonna love someone like I loved her.”

“You won’t,” Joel agreed. “Just like you didn’t love Dina like you loved Riley, you’ll find someone you love, even if it is slightly different from Riley and Dina.”

Ellie nodded, but didn’t look convinced.

“I’m sorry this happened, kiddo, but there is not which fix for grief, you just gotta ride it out, maybe without killing anyone here, huh?”

“He has it comin’.”

“He did, I heard him.” Joel agreed. “Let’s go home?”

Ellie agreed, though she wasn’t quite sure what ‘home’ was anymore.


End file.
